


Aaj Mausam Bada Beimaan Hai

by asmaanixx



Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Homophobia, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24917557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asmaanixx/pseuds/asmaanixx
Summary: Kartik chuckled, “Akele kahan honge. Puri Tripathi family hogi tumhare saath.”“But not you.” Aman hugged Kartik a little tighter.After a long pause, Kartik answered, “Maybe one day.”
Relationships: Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Comments: 13
Kudos: 34





	Aaj Mausam Bada Beimaan Hai

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Based off the prompt: You looked out the window and, not for the first time, thought about how wrong the weather forecast had been.
> 
> 2\. If there are requests or prompts that you would like to send my way, feel free to do so. <3
> 
> 3\. Kudos/Comments/Criticism are always appreciated. <3

Aman looked out the window and, not for the first time, thought about how wrong the weather forecast had been. There was nothing beautiful about the clear blue skies, or the bright sun that was blazing its heat rays at them.

He took a sip of his tea and grimaced.

“Mummy,” He shouted, “Cheeni ki puri katori daal di hai kya isme?”

“Agar do chamach tujhe katori jitni lagne lagi hai, toh khudh aa kar bana le.” Came his mother’s prompt response.

Aman quietly took another sip of his tea. Now that he considered it, the tea wasn’t _so_ bad. Apart from the sweetness, it still tasted fairly the same way he used to take it - doodh kam, elaichi zyaada aur adarak kut kar. He supposed his distaste for the extra sweetness came from Kartik constantly harping about how Aman was one spoonful of sugar away from contracting diabetes.

* * *

_“Arre! Kahan lekar jaa re ho?” Aman protested as the plate full of rasgullas were taken away by Kartik._

_“Jis hisab se tum meetha khaa re ho na, tumhe toh diabetes hokar hi rahegi.” Kartik scolded, as he put the plate away in the fridge._

_“Aise kaise hogi?” Aman protested, walking around the sofa and heading to the fridge._

_“Din mein teen baar chai peete ho, aur woh bhi cheeni ka katora bhar ke. Aur saath mein yeh chashni se bhaare hue meethaiya. Diabetes ni hogi toh phir kya hoga?”_

_Taking the plate out of the fridge, Aman replied, “Pehli baat, mein sirf do chamach cheeni khaata hoon. Aur doosri baat, chai ke saath kuch toh chahiye na khaane mein.”_

_“Haan, toh pakore khao, samose khao, sandwich bana lo. Meethaiya khaana zaroori hai kya?” Kartik took the plate from Aman._

_“Haan zaroori hai.” Aman took the plate back._

_“Kyun?”_

_Placing the plate on the counter, Aman wrapped his arms around Kartik’s neck, and leaned in for a long, deep kiss. “Meethi bhari kiss jo deni hai.”_

_Grazing the side of Aman’s mouth with his thumb, Kartik said, “Tum toh vaise hi meethe lagte ho. Aur khaane ki zaroorat ni.”_

_Sighing, Aman nodded. “Koshish karunga. But kya karu. Yeh kameeni aadat jaati hi nayi.”_

_Kartik spoke proudly, “Main hoon na. Saari buri aadatein bhaga doonga.”_

_“Kaise?”_

_Looping a finger around Aman’s jeans, Kartik tugged him towards himself._

* * *

Aman chuckled, and shook his head.

After that day, Kartik had kept a keen eye on everything Aman ate to make sure he didn’t falter. It was undoubtedly difficult for him at first, but Aman couldn’t be blamed entirely for it. It wasn’t his fault that they lived in a neighborhood that had some of the best bakeries and sweet shops around. Yes, the high amount of dopamine being released as he munched on freshly fried, sticky sweet jalebis made him incredibly happy, but the amount of guilt he would feel whenever he came home to Kartik’s nutritious meals, would negate all that happiness. It had taken Aman equating his secret meethaiyi eating sessions to being the same as him cheating on Kartik, for Aman’s feet to finally stop entering sweet shops.

He paused from taking another sip of his tea, and put his cup down. He opted for the bag of _Kurkure_ Goggle had snuck in for him instead, and plopped down on his bed. The moment the spicy snack hit his tongue, he was reminded of all the times when he and Goggle would munch on them while finishing up a bottle of alcohol. They would drink the night away while gossiping about who’s dating who, scrutinizing the latest fashion trends, teasing each other about their latest crushes, and most importantly, with him trying to shush a constantly giggling Goggle. The amount of close calls they had gotten from their parents because of Goggle snorting a little too loudly at a joke he had cracked were far too many to count.

Still, Aman smiled to himself. He briefly wondered as to when they had drifted apart so much. When he had left for Delhi to complete his higher studies, he hadn’t planned on distancing himself from his family. At first he truly was thrown back by just how much he had to juggle: attending lectures, doing the required homework, buying groceries, cooking his meals, and various other menial chores that he never had to think about because they were always handled by either his mom or chachi. He didn’t even realize when the promise of daily video conferences turned into biweekly phone calls. Then, when he met Kartik, even those lessened over time.

With a jolt, Aman sat up. It wouldn’t be right to blame Kartik for his decreased communication. That was all on Aman. _He_ chose not to speak with his family because he was too afraid to tell them about his boyfriend. _He_ was the one who was scared shitless to tell them that he was gay. _He_ was the one who refused to come home even though they had requested him multiple times to do so. It was ultimately his choice to keep everything a secret, not Kartik’s.

* * *

_Kissing him on the side of his temple, Kartik spoke, “Agar ghar ki itni yaad aari hai then go na.”_

_“Aise kaise jaa sakta hoon?” Aman argued. “Exams aare hai, rent bhi dena hai -”_

_“Exams mein abhi teen mahine hai. Aur rent ka kya hai. Thoda zyaada maska laga dunga aur badmein de denge.” Kartik replied mischievously._

_“Yeh jo makhan laga kar baatein banate ho na, sab ko hazam ni hoti.”_

_“Par tujhe toh hoti hai na.” Kartik tickled, making Aman laugh._

_Turning around so that they were lying chest to chest, Aman looked up at Kartik. “Will you miss me?”_

_“Of course I will.” Kartik whispered, softly grazing the top of Aman’s hair. “But family is also important na.”_

_Turning sideways, Aman placed his cheek on Kartik’s chest. “Mein akele waha karunga kya?”_

_Kartik chuckled, “Akele kahan honge. Puri Tripathi family hogi tumhare saath.”_

_“But not you.” Aman hugged Kartik a little tighter._

_After a long pause, Kartik answered, “Maybe one day.”_

* * *

Even though Aman had imagined many ways in which he would introduce Kartik to his family, he was never able to settle on a single solid plan. Sometimes he would have his parents seated on his bed, with the door locked, and he would pace in front of them while they waited for him to speak. Other times, the entire Tripathi family would be on some sort of picnic, and with the sun beating down on them, in the midst of lazy conversations, Aman would come out to them. In return, his parents would shower him with kisses, give him pats on the backs, and reward him with his favorite ice-cream.

Every single scenario he imagined lived in the realm of ridiculousness, but none of them could ever come close to his Papa catching him kissing Kartik in the corner of a train compartment, while the remaining members of the Tripathi family sang in celebration of Goggle’s wedding.

Falling back against the bed, Aman pulled on his hair.

He desperately wished he came out to his family while he was still in Delhi. At least he would have been somewhere safe with Kartik. What was the worst that his family could have done to him? His Mummy would have told him that he’s mistaken and tried to convince him otherwise, but ultimately she would have relented. His Papa on the other hand, would have been the more dramatic one. Constantly bombarding him with Whatsapp messages containing incorrect scientific articles which stated homosexuality is a made up concept, throwing little DIY experiments that he would ask Aman to do daily because they claimed to eradicate homosexuality in a person, and then when he checked in on Aman, he would blame him for being wayward because Aman refused to do his ridiculous tasks.

Aman exhaled deeply. Every family is a handful, but sometimes Aman believed he had truly hit the jackpot in getting the craziest one ever. Of course the multiple daily phone calls would have irritated him, but at least he would have been physically away from them. He could have fooled himself into believing that they’ll come around sooner or later, and that they just needed some time to process everything. When he couldn’t sleep at night, he would have been comforted by Kartik’s cuddles, and his kisses would have reaffirmed the belief that their love wasn’t wrong. Anything would have been better than seeing his father puke after catching Aman kissing his boyfriend. Most importantly, he wouldn’t have had to attend his own fucking funeral.

Sitting up again, he clutched the edge of his bed frame tightly. Hot tears burned his eyes.

How much did they fucking hate him that they would rather see him dead than accept the fact that he was gay? Sure, they showed him some mercy by choosing not to actually kill him, but does it really make that much of a difference if they were willing to kill his spirit? His name, his identity, anything and everything that was associated with him being gay - they were willing to kill it all. So why not take the extra step and be done with his body too?

Getting up, he cracked his knuckles in agitation.

But they didn’t hate him. In some ways, it may have been easier if they had. The pain would still have been immense, but at least he would have been able to rationalize his reasoning for leaving them forever.

He sighed.

Aman had always heard stories about the abuses other gay men would undergo, but he wasn’t able to fully understand them. Even when Kartik shared his own experiences with his father, it had still felt like a foreign concept to Aman. He couldn’t really comprehend how a parent’s unconditional love could transform into something so vile. After making sure Kartik had gone to sleep after a particularly restless night, Aman would secretly be thankful for having an extremely loving childhood. To his chacha keeping quiet while knowing full well that Aman snuck out some R rated movies to watch with his friends, to Goggle never judging him for having interests that were considered too effeminate, to his chachi for always satiating his sweet tooth, to his Mummy for always letting him get away with pranking his neighbors, to even his Papa for staying up late at night with him to gaze at the stars - he was thankful for it all.

It was with that childhood’s love that Aman gathered his courage and patience. It’s going to take them some time, but he had to believe they’ll come through for him. Till then, he’ll just wait for them at the finish line.


End file.
